
Artist: Gary Karr
Genre(s):
Other
Discography:

Basso Cantabile
Year: 1996
Tracks: 16
Top 10 television programs in Canada for the week of May 19-25
"Dear American Airlines"
by Jonathan Miles
Houghton Mifflin, 192 pp., $22
There could never be a debut novel more perfectly timed to enter the world than Jonathan Miles' "Dear American Airlines."
The book is a novel-length complaint letter written by one angry American Airlines passenger who has been stranded in Chicago's O'Hare International Airport and may miss his daughter's wedding in Los Angeles.
Sound familiar? Just a few months ago, hundreds of thousands of actual American Airlines customers were stranded in airports across the country when the airline was forced to cancel 3,100 flights to check or redo something called "wiring bundles." The universe, or at least the Federal Aviation Administration, has apparently gift-wrapped a marketing campaign just for this book.
So we can credit Miles, the cocktails columnist at The New York Times, with excellent timing. But we can also credit him with a sharp and funny first novel that will outlast the particular troubles of the modern airline industry.
Bennie Ford's letter begins as a request — check that, a profane demand — for a refund of his $392.68 ticket. He's desperately trying to get to Los Angeles for the wedding of his estranged daughter, whom he hasn't seen in years.
From the first paragraph, we hear Bennie's distinctive voice: angry and outraged, literate and funny. If the canceled flight weren't awful enough, he has to sit in a "maldesigned seat in this maldesigned airport," a limbo without clocks or cigarettes, where everyone seems to be playing sudoku, "the analgesic du jour of the traveling class."
It may seem like faint praise to call a novel "funny," as if laughter were a guilty pleasure in serious literature, something enjoyable but slightly disreputable. But what good is satire without humor? It shouldn't hurt Miles' reputation as a writer to point out a simple fact: This book will make you laugh. Out loud and repeatedly.
Bennie grew up in New Orleans, "where cirrhosis of the liver is listed as 'Natural Causes' on a death certificate." Holding his daughter in his arms for the first time, Bennie reflects, "She was so beautiful and small — a gorgeous pink speck of life. But I should also confess that I was drunk almost beyond recognition."
Later, in the middle of a domestic dispute, he finds himself locked out of his apartment in the rain. He screams his wife's name only once before it hits him: "You simply cannot shout the name Stella while standing under a window in New Orleans and hope for anything like an authentic or even mildly earnest moment."
Even in his despair, Bennie can't resist a good one-liner at his own expense.
Admittedly, whether you enjoy this novel may depend on your tolerance for a certain stock literary "guy": the brawling and boozy tough-guy poet, a little too sensitive for today's world, a little too broken inside to hold together a relationship. The template for Bennie Ford might be well-worn, but Miles never falls into the cliched traps of drunken sentimentality or self-pity.
Bennie's letter soon becomes something more, a sincere confession about his failures and regrets, charting the collapse from his early years as an aspiring poet and young father, to his divorce and estrangement from his family.
He's a bad father and a miserable husband, but he doesn't flinch from the truth of it. As readers, we admire his honesty and his righteous anger at modern life and modern airports. And in the end, Bennie is blessed with a moment of redemption, a touch of grace for a man stuck in O'Hare's interminable purgatory.
Kiss-and-tell Kiwi pin-up Sophie Lewis sold her story of a sex romp with a touring English rugby hunk to a UK tabloid.
But the former Deal or No Deal model has told New Zealand woman's mag New Idea she wasn't "a slapper" and had dreaded telling her parents about the headline-breaking coverage of her "rampant" night of passion with blond wing David Strettle, 24, at Auckland's Hilton Hotel.
Lewis was outed by The Sun newspaper, which had spoken to one of her friends, before she sold her version of events for an estimated $12,000 to News of the World.
Lewis, 22, told New Idea her parents (Andrew and Julie Anne Lewis) "were a bit shocked, but they told me that I hadn't done anything wrong".
"They had to face friends at work and that London paper (The Sun) had named me and even taken my picture off my website. It was embarrassing."
Approached earlier this week by Sunday News, a visibly upset Julie Anne refused to discuss her daughter's antics. The tearful attendance officer at Northcote College, on Auckland's North Shore, said she was "sick".
Andrew slammed the door at the family's Northcote home.
He later told Sunday News: "We're just an ordinary family."
Sophie said she agreed to the News of the World story to "clear my name, not for the money".
She told the newspaper she and Strettle "put rampant rabbits to shame. He was such an accomplished lover and we did it in every position imaginable," Lewis said.
The same night an 18-year-old New Zealand woman was allegedly sexually assaulted by two of the tourists. Police are investigating.
*For more on this week's gossip mags, check back on Tuesday morning for the weekly wrap What the Kiwi gossip mags say.
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It would take a lot of women a lifetime to get over George Clooney.
But star designer Christian Audigier says that when he saw Clooney's ex just two weeks after the break up, she was just fine.
In fact, he said former cocktail waitress Sarah Larson is doing so well you wouldn't even know she'd just split up with Gorgeous George!
Larson became the envy of millions back in September after the pair hooked up while she was serving drinks at the Whiskey Bar in Las Vegas.
There was even talk that she would be the one to finally marry the long-term bachelor.
But they split suddenly at the end of last month.
And French designer Audigier, 50, says that by the time Sarah, who is the face of his latest ad campaign, walked into his studio on June 17, she was all smiles.
"She seems really ok, actually. She smiles, she is young, fresh, beautiful. She was not looking hurt by what happened to her at all.
"To be honest with you, you don't even know she was the girlfriend of George Clooney to meet her!"
Audigier, who opens his new club Christian Audigier: The Nightclub in Vegas on July 4, said that it took a while for the novice model to get used to the camera on her first shoot.
"She's beautiful," he said. "[But] she needs to work with it. At first it was difficult to get the smile and attitude, but after some warm up she was better.
"We have got the right picture."
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NEW YORK — From "Star Trek: Voyager" to "Equus."
Kate Mulgrew is joining "Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths in the revival of Peter Shaffer's "Equus," which opens Sept. 25 on Broadway.
Mulgrew will play a sympathetic magistrate who champions the case of a young man (Radcliffe) who blinds six horses.
Griffiths, who appeared with Radcliffe in a recent London production of the play, will portray a psychiatrist investigating the incident.
Preview performances begin Sept. 5 at the Broadhurst Theatre.
In addition to her "Star Trek" TV series, Mulgrew has appeared on stage as Katharine Hepburn in the one-woman play "Tea at Five."
Other casting will be announced at a later date.